Friday 11 September 2015

Change

I seem to find myself talking about change a lot, anyone that knows me is fully aware how much I love change. I'll move things around in the house be it a photo frame or a vase, just to keep things fresh. I love change so much that I would actually happily move house every couple of years, I'd re decorate yearly and my wardrobe every season. Obviously money is quite a major factor in all of the above and this tends to stop me in my tracks when I get too ahead of myself.

I'm not going to lie and say we are comfortable at the minute. We are really struggling money wise, but who isn't?! I am done with getting bogged down about it and we are going to change this soon enough, And yes, I am the first to admit I want more than I need. I love buying new things and I love lusting over stuff I can't have. I don't see the harm in it as long as I keep it as just a wish list and not get myself into debt! Thank you, Husband, for reining me in every week day.

So this brings me onto a huge change we are about to go through. Not only for me but for our whole family too and that is what terrifies me the most. I don't want this to affect the children in a bad way and I am going to do my very best to not let it turn into anything negative.

I am starting an access to higher education course in Health and Science! I am doing it from home whilst still carrying on. for now, with my photography business. In the long hope that I will get into University in 2017 and I can train to become a Midwife. It is something I have wanted to do since having Harvey and it is constantly in the back of my mind. I watch OBEM and I'm not broody, I spend the whole hour listening to the midwives stories, their reactions and their emotions. It finishes and I declare 'One day, I am going to be a midwife!'. Well, the journey has started! And I cannot tell you how excited I am about it. I am so excited it makes me blub!!

When I had Harvey I had only just turned 18, I was completely uneducated on labour and birth and it only dawned on me when I was actually in labour that I had spent so much time reading about what to do with a newborn baby that I had no idea about the labour and birth part. I clear as day remember saying to my Mum in the early stages of labour, "Well... what do I do now??'.. 'You wait.' OH!? REALLY? He doesn't just come NOW? I am no good at waiting at the best of times and 9 days over due and I am labour and I STILL HAVE TO WAIT? Jeez.

Looking back now, I had so much support whilst pregnant. My midwife was amazing and I absolutely loved her. She was quite a no shit sherlock type bod, which suited me down to the ground and quite often I needed that kick up the back side she gave me. Had she not been so brilliant, I would have really struggled. Of course I had my mum who was and still is absolutely amazing, but having someone in the profession, who knows how you are feeling and knows exactly what they are talking about really does make all the difference. I hear of so many people say how they wished they had more support from their midwife or they didn't gel so well with them whilst in the hospital and it makes me even more determined to change that. Of course, we don't all gel with everyone and it will be a long and hard road but the thought of being responsible for a family welcoming their brand new addition to the world feels me with absolute joy and I honestly cannot tell you how amazing it feels to begin this journey.

Bring on the next 5 years of education and many happy and sad times!!

A few of the boys on their first day of school this year!

Char x



Wednesday 2 September 2015

Back to school

This time of year is a funny one for me. We spend the whole of July counting down the days to the summer holidays, blame tantrums everything on 'end-of-termitis' and vision beautiful summer days spent on the beach eating ice cream and soaking up some good ol' british Vit D. We skip out of the school gates whilst making great plans with all our Mummy friends, looking forward to mid week meet ups and grand days out.

Within what feels like days we are queuing in Clarks with 20 other caffeine fuelled parents and their bored children wondering where the 'summer' went. There was roughly 1 morning of sunshine and when we did take a trip to the beach the wind blew all the sand in our fish and chips which resulted in tears and everything thrown in the bin. The children's needs aren't being met because lets face it, no parent can keep their children occupied 24/7 for 6 weeks without going completely barmy, and the house is a state. But, through all the tears, the messy hair and the tantrums, I'm not ready for them to go back! I'm not ready for the extra work now they are a year older, I don't want to turn back into an army instructor every morning shouting orders and I certainly don't want to get dressed before 9am.

This is in actual fact the first year I haven't felt completely mental 6 weeks in. I will fully admit that last year I was so drained that I couldn't wait for September and get some normality back in our lives.  We haven't had enough dinners outside or late night movies, and we most certainly have not read enough or practiced our spellings.

My eldest is now entering Key stage 3. Oliver is no longer the smallest in the school and he'll look like a mini giant compared to the new class coming up. From next week we can apply for Elsie to start school for next September. WTF is going on? Where is my life escaping to? WHY, DO THEY KEEP GROWING?

#massivemumproblems

So in true traditional form we headed to the studio and took some school photos. I am in actual fact doing their school photos in a few weeks so it was good to get my 2 done and out the way before then. To say it was hard would be an understatement. Harvey is at an age where he either flatly refuses or just pulls stupid faces that resemble the BFG. Oliver can't fake smile without looking like he's constipated and Elsie just flashes her knickers and asks when she can have the packet of sweets I promised for afterwards. Usually Joe is with me and between us we can control the brood. Not this time. Remind me next year to pay someone else to do it.

Char x

P.s. Go check out my youtube channel if you haven't already! Would love some new subscribers!!