Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Why I'll be taking a step back.

Hiii!

It is late Tuesday night as I type and the more I think about this post the more eager I am to get it written down. I am not sure when I will actually post this but hey. Here goes! This has been pondering on my mind for quite some time and I think the lead up to Christmas is the right time for me to really take a step back. From what you ask? Social media. Why now? Because I am in too deep and I don't like the person I am becoming.

Shock horror, gasp! OMG! I know, right. As my husband will tell you, I check my phone A LOT. I love to browse most social platforms, my favs being instagram and Facebook. I do use Twitter every now and again too. Not sure if Pinterest counts?! Anyway, I digress, I feel like a huge chunk of my life is being taken up and perhaps taken over by social media and I don't like the way its going.

Not very often now do I sit at the dinner table without checking my phone. Not whilst I am eating, but waiting for the kids to finish or whilst they eat their pudding etc. I just get bored and it has become a bit of a habit. I'll say 'Oh i just need to check if so and so has emailed back.' or 'Oh, Mrs Perriwinkle is having a moment, I need to check they are okay'. I am now screaming at myself IT CAN WAIT!!! I'll pull up in the drive and before I have even turned the engine off I grab my phone to see what i've missed. And that is pretty much where it stems from, my massive gigantic FOMO issues (Fear Of Missing Out if you have no idea what I'm talking about). It isn't that I sit there posting all the time or tweeting every 5 minutes, it is completely for being nosey. I like looking at what other people are up to and I love to see other peoples outfits of the day or their make up routine etc etc. After all, we all live for inspiration through other people. No matter what anyone says, you got your idea from something someone else has done or said, and that is totally fine! That is how we live, that is how society works. You see something, you take a bite of it and make something grow. But actually that can become an obsession, and I have let it take over too much. I have an addictive personality, I get way into stuff and I want that to stop.

However, there is a huge part of social media that I hate. Things pop up in my news feed that I don't want to look at, that I don't want to read or listen to. Pages telling me how to raise my children, or somebody telling me the best way to make a freakin' pizza, and because I am a worrier and because I over think things, it makes me feel like a shit person. I know I am not a shit person, I know that I do the very best I can for my family yet some article that is telling me I shouldn't teach my boy a certain thing and I should let my daughter be independent, gets into my brain and takes over my train of thought. I can't keep living like this and I should not let this affect how I parent, how I view things or even other people.

I don't want to be strapped to my phone anymore and I feel like if i don't just cut all ties with all my personal social media accounts, then I won't ever reel it in in the long run. I have this you could say, awful, obsession with over sharing. I am honest with everyone I meet, I share every detail about myself to everyone I talk to and I chat chat chat chat. I feel like I have reached a point in my life where I no longer need to do that anymore, and I am not even sure why I did do it in the first place. I am not trying to change myself, I am just trying to dull it down a bit. Enjoy things as a family just the 5 of us, without sharing it with the world all the time or telling someone. I don't need to share my whole life with people and I don't need to know what everyone else is doing 24/7 either. And I am okay with that now. I'm over it, and I am so ready to call it a day. I feel like the deeper I get into social media, the more I think about stuff, and I worry about my own life. Knowing full well that so many people I follow are fake, who tidy the one segment of house they are photographing or make stuff up their kids have 'said' to sound like they have THE most perfect child in the world. I know that as a society we are letting reality slip through our fingers and the more I think about how my children will feel in 10 years time, or less, the more it really does scare me. I don't want them to feel that pressure or false outlook on life and what example am I setting to them if I am doing exactly the wrong thing?! What do they see when they look at me? I do not want them to see the Mum who is staring down all the time. I need to be looking up, and soaking it ALL up!

Of course, I need to stay on all of these social platforms for my business. I don't think I will stop blogging either as I don't do it very often and I enjoy the creative side of it and it is a good way of family to catch up with what we have been up to. But hey, there is a thing called a phone and the sole purpose of it is to call people. Let me do a bit more of that and a little less of the social media. But I won't be on Facebook / Instagram / Twitter for personal use. If I could, I would delete all the apps but alas, I do really rely on it for work! So if you see me about and I am checking my Facebook or Instagram for no reason whatsoever, slap me and take it out of my hands!

Here are a few snaps to end the post from last weeks bonfire night and Hallowe'en!

Char x







Monday, 2 November 2015

Joyful Norfolk

Half term was a busy one for us, we started off by visiting my grandparents in Norfolk. We hadn't made any specific plans we were quite happy to just chill out and take each day as it came.

Having recently moved we were super excited to spend some time with my Gran and Grandad and explore more of Norfolk. It is hands down our favourite county we have visited (apart from Sussex, of course!) and we absolutely adore it every time we visit. The coastline is always so quiet, the towns are never really that busy and the countryside is nothing but breathtaking.

If it wasn't for our work and family commitments here in Sussex we would up and move in a flash. Although we didn't go in to Norwich this visit, it is one of my all time favourite cities too. I know i'm gushing, but we really do adore Norfolk!

I won't ramble too much, just leave you with a few of our favourite snaps from the 4 days we were there. I actually didn't take as many as I usually would, it was nice to just enjoy our time without putting that creative pressure on myself. I did however, video our week! You can have a nosey over on my YouTube channel right HERE!

Char x













Saturday, 24 October 2015

Being a parent is HARD

I know I am stating the obvious, but i'm feeling it more so than normal lately. I went through a phase of finding it, dare I say it, easy. I sit and think of my life with 1 child, even 2 and I definitely didn't appreciate how easy it was compared to how things are now. It isn't that Elsie is a nightmare, well... I think it's more that they are more time consuming now. I always assumed as they got older it would get easier. In actual fact it is the complete opposite. And life seems to have thrown everything at us the past few months as well as having children that REALLY need us right now.

It is just different. Different in that they need me in a different way, they need my attention for different reasons but also my emotional support. Friendships, nightmares or dealing with new situations. They really need me right now. Right at a time when I really need some space.

Quite frankly, it is HARD.

I guess what I am trying to say is SINGLE MUMS, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!
YOU ROCK.
YOU ARE AWESOME.

Joe has been working a lot the past month, I didn't realise how much I relied on him. I think the constant me being Mum is taking its toll on us all. When it is just one person making all the rules, being the one that hurries them along to school or makes them tidy up before dinner, it becomes wearing on not only me but the kids too. I think they have learnt to block me out which means my noise levels get higher and higher the more they don't listen.

ALL HAIL THE SINGLE MUMS, YOU ARE AMAZING!!

I don't want this to be a 'my life is bloody hard' post. It actually isn't when I look at the wider scale. It's just good to let it out, and I don't want to write a happy smiley post when actually i'm finding things tough.

So I feel like we have reached a new chapter of our life. The chapter that you skim through really fast to move onto the next one. It is going to be busy and stressful and amazing. It is going to test our patience, it is going to push every boundary and every limit will be reached as I embark on a 5 year journey to (hopefully) become a midwife. After going to an open day and getting just the tiniest taste of whats to come, I am so pumped! I feel like this is what I need to do, it's my calling! cringe.

#allthefeels

And all whilst this is happening, I want to enjoy the children so much! I hate how grown up they are becoming and everyone around us is announcing pregnancies or planning the next one and i'm over here all 'JESUS CHRIST THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I WILL BE ALL ALONE AT HOME AND ALL MY BABIES WILL BE AT SCHOOL. FML.' I need to soak up the next 2 years before uni (hopefully!) and appreciate every school run, every time I sit and watch them in their swimming lesson or go and enjoy both sittings of the nativity. I need to soak it aaaalll up so I don't regret a thing.

This means PICTURES of course! Here are some of our latest festive inspired photos.

Enjoy!

Char x